irony!

Haven't posted in a long while. It's been a busy couple of weeks... the new quarter just started and I am now immersed in learning exegetical methods and Hebrew, and in another class which regards how Jesus sees and ministers to the poor. Exciting stuff.

Here's a NY times link to check out in the wake of hurricane madness and the political aftermath:

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/27/business/27econ-new.html?th=&adxnnl=1&emc=th&adxnnlx=1128016932-/0pmW3VmJLr9y9iZ7Nwyww

Ironic how Bush is now "forced" to tap into oil reserves and loosen (presumably environmental) regulations on oil production because of the strain caused by hurricanes, which was caused by global warming, which was contributed to by... increased oil consumption and production. Though I'll give the man credit for at least calling for conservation of gas. It's a step forward from past positions.

And, I'm out.

Kyle's experiences with Katrina victims.

My good friend Kyle from back at A&M, who is a campus minister with my old student group (the United Campus Ministry) and is an ordained PCUSA pastor, had some amazing experiences to share w/ me on the phone the other day regarding what Texas A&M is doing for hurricane victims. So I asked him to type something up for me... since this isn't the kind of stuff you'll be reading about on the news, yet we need to be hearing. And, it gives me a good reason to be proud of where I went to school (except maybe not President Gates....putz.) So, here ya go:

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Howdy from Texas!

Josh offered to let me use this forum to post some musings about my experience doing pastoral care with those sheltered in Reed Arena in College Station, Texas.

Just to give you a little orientation...bread appears on my table by virtue of my ministry with college students at Texas A&M University. I've never been much on limiting ministry to job descriptions so I go where called and try to cover the job description in the meantime.

One such call came Sunday from a member of the cadet corps here at A&M. They were running a shelter for victims of Katrina. They arrive at midnight Sat. night and by Sun morning were demanding to know where their loved ones were. These folks traveled 18 hours from full shelter to full shelter.

I met a young couple right off who were separated from their 1 year old daughter. We carefully read the morgue listings as well as the shelter listing. Her name appeared nowhere. Her mother's blood pressure had risen so high that she was in severe danger and needed her BP medication.

They got their good news that their daughter was found alive at the Astrodome in Houston. We prayed and prayed and I listened to stories about their lives as this couple was very happy they were here and all safe.

Never have I been so proud of this university. The cadets were running this with love and concern. General Van Alstyne is awesome! He has been there 24 hours a day seeing to it that this shelter is run well. God's grace has been embodied in a state institution of higher education. This university is doing more than any church anywhere around. Where do I think Jesus is? Yes, at Texas A&M University. To see the look on an elderly woman's face when a young cadet says "Howdy ma'am, may I carry those bags for you?" She hasn't heard that kind of concern for her in her week of horror.

I also saw pictures on camera phones that are unbelievable. Yes, white rushing water cascading through the streets, carrying semi-trucks, lifting cars, small portable buildings, etc. These people have slept on their pitched roof for 2-3 days. Ever tried to sleep at a 45 degree angle with rushing water at your feet so if you roll off you are washed away?

Heroic tales of people getting boats with holes in it and having one person bale out water fast enough to keep the boat floating while they ferry people out of harms way.

My first day closed in euphoria. These people felt God had blessed them with our efforts. Who wouldn't go home charged up after that? God's grace was easy to feel and these good good people seemed to be getting on their feet.

Tragic tales came quickly. A mother tells me, while her daughter sits next to her, that a man was shot in the head by national guard before the man could get her daughter's clothes off to rape her. A man tells of losing grip of his nephew who was in the water outside his boat trying to crawl in. Stories of seeing bodies, and bodies, and bodies...all ages...and tales of multiple bodies with gunshots to the head.

These people are traumatized. They are hurt. People who don't pray, will pray with me now...because they figure anything is good enough to try. Jesus for them is not a doctrine, an invisible friend to believe in, or someone who makes empty promises of faith rewarded by prosperity. Jesus is water, food, a shower, reunion with family, and a safe, good night's sleep.

I have cried to have them tell me to my pained, resistent ears that I represent Jesus because we have provided food, clothing, shelter, and safety.

I have cried to hear that these people love Jesus Christ in the face of the largest disaster in U.S. history, amidst racist presumptions by the media, abandonment by their police and government, and being ignored by their President and Congress until it was too late for the estimated 10,000 death toll.

People are being reunited with their families. They are getting jobs. We moved several people out today because they have found a place to live and maybe a job lead.

Still there is a dark reality. Today I carry home a list of names of relatives not found. I am the one who, while they are in shelters, can look on TV, newspaper, internet lists of dead and lists of shelters....Lord, help me to find just one,Lord....just one. "Please help me look for my husband and my son" is the one that is the most painful to hear and it rings in my ears...ringing,ringing,ringing.

That couple I mentioned at the beginning? He hit her last night. The police officer told me that she egged it on. He watched it. History of mental illness. He will end up in jail. She will end up at a mental hospital potentially. I told the office,"Please let me talk and pray with them"..."Okay he says"...I approach...they are different people. They do not want me around right now they say. They are ashamed. I grab their hands and tell them God loves them. I fear for them when they still have not reunited with their daughter. What life lies ahead for this young one?

God of Grace and Glory...Why does your grace have to be mixed with so much pain? Why does your glory have to be mixed with so much shame? Why does your Easter demand a Good Friday? Why does love felt in this frail heart of mine get called forth for people only when tragedy is real and present? I know today that I love these people...I love them not because they love you...or because they are lovable or because they need it in pity. I love them because I know that they deserve your love more than I do. They deserve it more than anyone else I know. They deserve it because Matthew 25 is probably the most true piece of your Word I can think of right now.

It is easy for me to live Matthew 25 now. It is on our minds. Who of us will remember that verse 3 mos from now when these New Orleans folks show up in a homesless shelter not having found a job yet? Will we remember to keep giving financially when it is no longer popular? If so, we are blessed by you. If not, we are most to be pitied for our eternity is set.

Found out today that A&M will end this shelter on friday because we have to have an "engineering fair" next week...and first yell next weekend. I was furious. I told the General, "how can we let these people exit here without a place to go" He tells me that he "won't let that happen"...I find out from a secondary source that the President of the university is saying it should end friday. General Van Alstyne is fighting to keep it open until the job is done. I don't know about you, but I'm standing behind the 3 star General. God bless him.

Don't go to Africa.

This Labor Day, I spent much of the day laboring... on a systematic theology take-home final exam. Yippee.

But I did take a study break... I went to see the Constant Gardener. It was great.

And I just have one piece of advice for everyone. Don't go to Africa. Not even for a measley 5 weeks. It messes you up, long after you've come back. It rips your heart out of your chest and plants it in the Kenyan Highlands. You'll find yourself loving people who can't offer you anything in return, and loving a land that's not your own. That's not normal; that's just crazy.

You'll never be able to eat food the same way again. You can't drive by big corporate buildings without thinking about worldwide injustices. You'll catch yourself feeling guilty about things that you never thought twice about before, like the things you throw away that someone in Lusaka would rummage for hours through garbage just to find such a treasure. Save yourself the remorse and heartache.

Oh, and you won't be able to watch movies about how MNC's screw Africa anymore. Because then you'll take it personally.

Okay, consider yourself warned. Back to "structures of existence" and "original sin" for me.

Thoughts about Katrina and sin and stuff.

I don't claim any kind of prophetic abilities here when I say that I was overwhelmed Sunday night, the night before Katrina made landfall, with feelings of guilt, foreboding, and anguish regarding what was about to happen to the people there. That was proven the next morning, when I saw the news report that Katrina had been downgraded, and even when the following day came with pictures of destroyed buildings and roads, yet I felt a false sense of relief from it all, knowing that things could have been much worse (had Katrina hit full strength, with a more direct hit on NO.)... Of course the disaster that Katrina had caused was only the beginning of the story as the floodwaters have rose, and as the week has progressed it has become clear that this is becoming perhaps one of the most catastrophic events in the history of the United States. Meanwhile in SoCal, life continues as normal for most of us, ambivalent to the events just a few thousand miles down I-10....

Last night, I talked to Kyle back home about all of this, and how he is (as well as I am) frustrated:

-with the utter lack of government support and the inane comments by people like Dennis Hastert in the aftermath... ( http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050902/ap_on_go_co/katrina_hastert_hk1_5 ...reminds me of Mugabe, who actually did what Haskert proposed, both to cities that didn't vote for their party. Maybe that's why we don't go into Zimbabwe... they think like us.)

-and with the Bush administration's slashing of funding that was designed to help save the city from impending disaster many years previous... ( http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20050901.wsciam0901/BNStory/Front ...as much as I understand the rising water to be a problem for landing helicopters, I dont' understand why we can't drop supplies, like we do in other parts of the world when disaster strikes.)

After our conversation I got to talking with some seminary friends, who were over at our community playing cards. They all shared my sympathy, although not all were keeping up with the events in N.O. Somehow we got on the topic of sin, and how there are many people (mostly Internet religious-right swamis, likely) making comments like "this is God's judgment on a sinful and perverted city" or something to that effect. While none in the group agreed with this assessment at all, three of them claimed, "That is ridiculous propoganda," while the 4th in the group said, "Well, we don't know what God's plans were. After all, He 'judged the land' on many occasions in the Bible. The point for us is to hear and respond to their suffering regardless." This didn't make the other participants at the table very happy.

While I couldn't wholly disagree with his assessment, I found it quite unsatisfying as a way to explain this disaster. I think that asking, "Was God judging New Orleans?" is absolutely the wrong question to be asking in the first place! I have a Christological point to make in this regard. While I am no Dispensationalist, I do believe that after the resurrection, Jesus ascended into heaven, in the flesh, and sits on the right hand of the Father, having been given all authority and power in heaven and on earth. This is the same Jesus who walked and lived and sympathized with the poor, many of whom were plagued with sin, and the same Jesus who condemned the powerful and rich rulers, who were sinners also (in a deeper, though seemingly less obvious sense) and yet condemned the poor as having deserved their position thanks to their sinfulness. While God has always identified with the poor, Jesus experienced their misery and suffering first-hand, and at the cross He felt the full weight of human suffering. It is how Christ is able to say, "What you have done for the least of these, you have done to me"--in the spectrum of human existence, this is where Christ identifies Himself, and as such it is where we are called to be identified, and to identify with others. This is the Jesus who now sits in judgment over humanity; the God who looks at how we treat each other, how we conduct ourselves in public and private, how we pray and cry out for mercy, and how we ignore the work of His Kingdom. He has full authority; not the law, or our sacrifices, our church attendance, or our weekly tithes (if people still tithe in this country) or our ability to influence others will be what saves us. It's Jesus who holds the fate of each one of us... and for some of us (the "least," who are the greatest in the kingdom) that is a comfort, but for most of us it should likely be considered as a warning...b/c even as a Christian, I find myself identifying all too often more with the Pharisees than with the poor.

In light of this understanding, we should be extremely suspicious of anyone claiming God's wrathful judgment on a city filled with sin... especially since it is the poor and needy, who are no strangers to suffering and neglect and exclusion from the rest of society, who likely spend a whole lot more time trying to make ends meet than partying it up on Bourbon Street, who are the majority of victims in this disaster. The partiers and college students in large part escaped the storm (or at least the horrors that followed it.) Most of the people who had cars escaped; many who did not leave town could not afford a car, or did not own one, and that's why they stayed.

We should wonder why such proposals never come from the same side as the suffering. That's called confession, for anyone who was wondering. We don't do much of that anymore, although the church used to think it was pretty important. As highly unlikely as it seems for sin to be the reason for Katrina to leave a million people homeless--if the call to repent came from within the levee walls, we would probably greatly sympathize with this, despite the fact of whether we agreed or not. But unfortunately, these calls for repentance come from ivory towers, from those who watch the horror below them and thank God that they are "not like other men--robbers, evildoers, adulterers--or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get to the Republican party." (Luke 18:11-12) Then they turn their TVs back over to Desperate Housewives and hope no one catches them.

The question "Is God judging New Orleans?" is wrong. The question should be, "How will Christ judge me, if I sit idle by this disaster and do nothing?"

More on Katrina.

Katrina apparantly has or soon will be topping Andrew as the costliest natural disasater in US history, and may perhaps be one of the deadliest in recent history. This article made me cringe:

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/national/AP-Hurricane-Katrina.html?hp&ex=1125633600&en=ac444ff206b4e17b&ei=5094&partner=homepage

I'm just glad that Texas has opened its borders.

Prayers for Katrina victims.

I haven't read the news today... so I dunno if the death toll has gone up any... I saw it at 50+ yesterday, and that Katrina made landfall as a Cat 4 in Mississippi. Praises to God that Sara's family is ok, acc. to her away message... even though their family's house is ruined.

Please pray for families who have lost people in the storm and/or have become homeless because of it.

Well, I didn't post this weekend as promised. Sorry for lying. I've realized that at least a few random souls are looking at my posts now, even though I've said jack squat and haven't really told anyone yet that I have a blog. So, apologies for letting the faithful few down.

I'm reading Exclusion and Embrace by Miroslav Volf. Only 100 pgs. in, and I can't seem to read it fast like I need to, b/c it keeps convicting me and making me think. (I had a similar reaction to Cost of Discipleship, even though the foci of each book is pretty different.) Kevin told me this is his favorite book of all time... and he's read quite a few books in his day. I'm digging on it, but it hurts right now.

It hurts b/c I've only read the part about "exclusion" so far... and judging from the fact that Volf wrote it back in the mid 90's, pre-9-11 (while he was still teaching at Fuller, he's now at Yale), I'm finding it to be quite prophetic. The problem is, the exclusion bred into our culture has not subsided at all since that tragedy; it seems to be getting stronger. It is indeed interesting that as the " cultured West" we continually preach the gospel of egalitarianism and full equality for all; yet we probably have just as much of a defined sense of the "other" than the countries which we refer to as "savage," such as Rwanda or Bosnia in recent history. What's worse is that use our banners of equality to hide the fact that we are exclusionists. The simple remedy that many Americans likely believe is the answer to Iraq's problems? The same as the one that our government upholds... make 'em like us. Yet this is no less a form of exclusion; we allow no room for the "other" to exist when we simply assimilate them into ourselves and our own ideologies.

So, last night I was pretty broken about my own willing participation (through my complaceny and silence) in this exclusion. About my contribution to the structures and powers that serve to hold people down. The "other" is produced by these structures, and we are not void of these victims in the US, and especially not here in the San Gabriel Valley. I watched a presentation on foster children yesterday at Lake Avenue Church, for a "rallying of the troops" meeting to run a 1-week camp for 50 foster children in the Pasadena area by this time next year. I kept having flashbacks to some of my old campers from T Bar M... and to the children I met in Africa this summer... and I thought a lot about the 4 former-foster children that live in my community, who I've grown to love. I also thought about a presentation I saw in-class last spring regarding the LA foster care system-- and how terrible it really is. I got angry and confused and depressed... and convicted... all at the same time by watching this presentation.

And as I write this, a hurricane is tearing apart New Orleans. I remember living on the Gulf Coast; 10 years ago Hurricane Opal did to our part of the Florida Panhandle what Katrina is doing to NO (although Katrina is a tad stronger, and NO is below sea level, which makes it a much higher threat.) As I watched the news in a coffee shop yesterday afternoon, Katrina was Cat 5 and had gusts up to 200. I was convinced that by Monday evening NO wouldn't exist anymore... and had it stayed that strong, that may have been the case. I went to church last night at Warehouse feeling empty and guilty... singing to God, asking to be "filled" and inspired...meanwhile hundreds of people await their likely death, and thousands of homes are waiting to be destroyed? But of course, it was no different than any other night in that respect... Niger, Zimbabwe, Iraq... all the death going on there didn't go away when I stopped watching/reading the news that morning! Having just seen African poverty with my own eyes just weeks before, it had been frequently out of my mind, meanwhile I spent money and bought needless groceries and listened to my music and analyzed my finances... and somehow I felt like part of the exclusion all at once last night.

So I cried a lot. And wrote a song (which I hadn't been able to do in 6 months). And I felt really lonely and prayed all night for NO, and for Sara's family (my friend from A&M, whose family is stuck in NO thanks to traffic and already have rising water in their house.) It's all that I knew to do. So I was quite thankful to God in the morning when I heard that Katrina was downgraded to a Cat 3, just like Opal had been downgraded 10 years ago just as we hit the flood of interstate traffic during evacuation. Even now, my mom's cries of gratitude to God in our car that night repeat themselves in my head...I confess to God for calling Him "distant" and getting so pissed off at Him last night...

Anywho, this is all quite difficult for most to understand, I'm sure... but I hope that perhaps some of this rang a chord. If not, sorry for straining your eyes for this long.

It's not over for NO now by any means; the city will likely sustain numerous casualties and destruction. So continue to pray for them, even beyond the passing of the storm as they attempt to salvage what's left.

And, I have many more thoughts regarding the Volf book... and I haven't even read the happy part yet. (There's always a happy part; that's the cool thing about studying theology.) So more to come in that respect, whether you like it or not.

Off to somehow gather my scattered thoughts so I can start my papers. God Bless.

Random, procovative Iraq war dialogue.

Again, too busy to write anything.

But not too busy to read random things on the Web, apparently.

At any rate, the BBC did a survey regarding what people thought about the inevitability of civil war in Iraq; the selection contains a wide swath of differing views:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/talking_point/4700577.stm

Cool thing about the BBC-- they have readers from all over the world...including Iraq.

Lates.

The Obligatory Preliminary Jibber jabber.

I resisted long enough.


So I thought I'd be the only guy in seminary (or Pasadena, for that matter) without a blog. I'm thinking that to not be the case anymore. I've been wanting to start a journal or free-write exercise on my computer... but I didn't have any motivation to do so. Knowing other people can read this stuff, though, creates a little incentive, b/c I like to share ideas. And certainly ideas and opinions formed in a box are not as complete as those that are allowed to be influenced and shaped by others. Such dialogue has been extremely formative for my studies so far, and this might be just one more avenue in which to develop these ideas. Also, I want to write books someday, so it'd be a good idea to practice writing (even though I have 50+ pages of writing due over the next few weeks... ugh.)

I'm not sure if I'm gonna tell anyone quite yet about this. That would mean I would have to stick with it, and I'm not so sure I'm ready to commit yet. (yes, this is an ongoing pattern in my life. Thanks for the reminder.)

I will spare the Internet community with a monologue of my origins and such. If you wanna know, I'll tell you, but most people that will read this, if any, will be those who know me. The profile's good enough for now. Although, I hope people from elsewhere feel compelled to respond, Christians and non-Christians (I figure I will probably offend both in equal measure anyway), guys and gals, and those from different ethnic and social contexts... b/c I need to learn from y'all (I do use my one "Texasism" with frequency, sorry.) and to stretch beyond my own context.

So, there's the obligatory introduction to my blog. I am officially in the cool kids club. Now I'm gonna go study like a good boy.

hey

Hey look at me ! I have a blog. Does this make me cool now?